The Child Who Couldn't Stop Tapping

I once had a student who could completely disrupt a math lesson with just a ruler.

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

Sometimes it was a pen.

Sometimes it was a pencil.

If those didn't draw enough attention, he'd shout something across the classroom.

Usually something funny. The other kids would laugh. He would laugh.

And suddenly, instead of focusing on math, everyone was focused on him.

From an outsider's perspective, it seemed like disruptive behaviour.

He was distracting other students.

Interrupting the class.

Making silly noises.

Trying to make everyone laugh.

It would have been easy to only address what we saw:

"Stop tapping."

"Put the ruler down."

"Stop shouting out."

"You're distracting everyone."

But then I started to notice something.

The tapping wasn't random. Neither were the jokes.

They occurred most when the maths became challenging.

When he didn't understand what to do.

When everyone else seemed to have started working and he was still staring at the page.

When he wasn't sure how to begin.

That's when the ruler would start.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Because saying:

"I don't understand this."

"Everyone else seems to get it and I don't."

"I'm worried I'll get this wrong."

"I need some help."

was much harder.

He didn't yet have the confidence, emotional awareness, or words to express what was happening.

So his behaviour communicated it instead.

And actually, being the funny child was an effective distraction.

If everyone was laughing at something he did deliberately, nobody noticed he didn't know how to answer question three.

The behaviour that seemed like attention-seeking was also telling us something important:

"I'm struggling."

"This feels too much."

"I don't know what to do next."

Once we understood that, our response could change. Of course, that didn't mean allowing him to disrupt others' learning.

Boundaries still mattered.

But simply taking away the ruler didn't address why he was tapping it.

He needed another way to communicate.

So we began breaking the math into smaller steps.

• Checking in with him before he became overwhelmed.

• Giving him a clear first step rather than an entire page of questions.

• Reassuring him that not understanding something immediately was okay.

• And importantly, helping him practice the words he could use instead:

"I'm stuck."

"Can you show me the first one?"

"I don't understand this part."

Because emotional regulation isn't only about breathing exercises and calming techniques.

Sometimes regulation starts with helping a child understand:

What am I feeling?

What is making me feel this way?

And what can I do or say when it happens?

The tapping was never really about the ruler.

It was a clue that something underneath was becoming too difficult.

And that's why, when a child's behaviour suddenly becomes louder, sillier, more distracting, or more challenging, it's worth getting curious before assuming we know why.

Ask:

What happened just before this?

What is this child being asked to do right now?

Could this behaviour be helping them avoid something that feels difficult, uncomfortable, or overwhelming?

Because sometimes the child disrupting the lesson isn't telling us:

"I don't care."

They might be telling us:

"I can't do this, and I don't know how to tell you."

And when we can hear that message, we can start teaching them what to do instead.

Behaviour is communication.

The behaviour still needs guidance.

However, if we merely stop the behaviour without understanding the underlying need, we might miss the lesson's most crucial aspect.